Posted in Making It Up As I Go

Just One More Thing

I’m far more productive between the hours of 9 PM and 12 AM than I am at any other time of the day. It’s quite unfortunate considering I work a day job that doesn’t allow me to go to bed after midnight (Well, it does. I’d just fall asleep at my desk.)

This combined with building up momentum after finishing a task–whether homework or a bit of writing–makes it difficult to step away from the computer and head to bed. Or to get in the shower and then go to bed. I’m tempted to do just one more thing: write one more line, do one more homework questions, read one more chapter.

Because it’s only one thing, right? That’s true until one thing morphs into a second thing when I tell myself I’ll just do one more, and then the cycle repeats until it’s well passed my bedtime.

Trying to squeeze writing in between the hours I’m committed to my job and to school has only made this habit worse. I want to write. I will write.

I just need to get better about parsing out my time and only spending half an hour re-watching YouTube videos instead of an hour and a half. The time I have after work or after class and before bedtime is pretty finite. And it doesn’t do me any good do do just one more thing before saying that the day is over because it’s really just refusing to admit that I’m out of time but not out of things I want to do.

On that note, I need to get off my computer, head to the shower, and then tuck myself into bed. Goodnight to all, and to all, a good night.

Posted in Making It Up As I Go, Movies, TV & Games

‘Tis the Season of Spooks & Scary Movies

Haunted houses and vampires and zombies are year round in my house (well, apartment,) so I don’t exactly need an excuse to curl up with a scary story. But indulging during the month of October is different; the world just feels better suited for watching horror movies.

It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed any of the not-so-creepy classic horror DVDs lined up on my shelf. And there’s no better time to dust off the plastic cases and revisit a bunch of old favorites.

In a perfect world, what movies do I want to watch this month? Oh, just a few…

  • Dracula 
  • Frankenstein
  • The Wolf Man
  • Dracula, Dead and Loving It
  • The Black Cat
  • White Zombie
  • Bowery at Midnight
  • Spooks Run Wild
  • The Mummy
  • Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
  • Paranormal Activity
  • Bag of Bones
  • Son of Frankenstein
  • The Babadook (Netflix)
  • Young Frankenstein (Netflix)

And with me being me, there’s bound to be a bit of live-tweeting while I’m curled up on the couch and watching these movies.

Now I’m not so out of it as to think that I’ll get through all the movies I want to watch. Between a full time job and going to school full time, I barely have time to do laundry and squeeze-in half an hour of writing a week. But these movies will serve as a creepy little carrot to coax me through the work.

Do you have any must-watch movies this time of year? Or any good (non-gory) horror movies that I should check out?

Posted in Making It Up As I Go

The One with the Cockroach

When I moved into my apartment, I established a truce with the local creepy-crawlies. I wouldn’t bother them when they chilled on my patio, and they wouldn’t come inside the apartment. Most of them seemed to have gotten the memo.

Except for Jeremy.

Jeremy is an amber-colored cockroach the length of my thumb, and he set up camp in the corner of my bathroom ceiling while I was in the shower.

Jeremy: Hey, SE! You should dust once in a while.

Me: What the f#$&?!

Jeremy: I know, I know. No one thinks about dusting their shower, but this little ledge where your shower meets the wall collects dust.

Me: You’re a f#$&ing cockroach. In my f#$%ing shower.

Jeremy: I’d help you out. Really, I would. These scrawny little arms can’t hold onto anything.

I’d only just finished rinsing the shampoo from my hair, so I couldn’t exactly hop out of the shower then and there. That left me the choice of standing with my back to Jeremy (and being unable to see him if he decided to join me in the tub) or staring the creepy little bastard down. I decided to keep my eye on him.

And of course, Jeremy didn’t shut up the whole time.

Jeremy: Apart from the dust, you’ve got a nice bathroom here. I really like your shower curtain; is it from Target?

I bolted out of the shower and the bathroom in record time, and I made doubly sure that the bathroom door clicked shut. I also hoped against hope that Jeremy wouldn’t scoot out the half-inch gap between the door and the linoleum floor.

Then, I dressed for battle. Meaning I tossed on my over-sized Twilight nightshirt, stepped into black-and-white plaid pajama pants, donned my cowboy boots, and tucked said pajama pants into said cowboy boots. Because I was going to be damned if Jeremy crawled up my boot and into my pants.

I gathered a broom and a glass bowl with a lid from the pantry before heading back into the bathroom. I was only partially relieved when I saw that Jeremy hadn’t left his corner above the shower. Only partially because I still had to get him out of my apartment.

Jeremy: They say that you’re not supposed to shower without the fan running, but I love how all the steam turns the entire bathroom into a spa.

Me: All right, motherf#$%er, time to get your ass out of my apartment.

I used the broom’s bristles to gently tap Jeremy’s behind and encourage him out of the corner. He wasn’t exactly thrilled.

Jeremy: Hey, what’s this? What’re these blue pieces of straw bumping against my butt for?

I pressed the glass bowl into the corner of the shower, right in Jeremy’s path. He balked at stepping over the rim. Tried to go left and then right. But I used every iota of resolve in me to herd him toward the bowl rather than dropping everything and running out of the apartment while screaming THERE’S A F#$%ING COCKROACH IN MY BATHROOM at the top of my lungs.

Then suddenly, Jeremy scuttled into the bowl, and I nearly whooped with joy. I eased the bowl and the broom to the floor, and reached for the black lid. Just as I was ready to swap out the broom for the lid, I realized something: I couldn’t see Jeremy through the bowl’s glass bottom.

Jeremy: Ya’know, I don’t like that clear dome-thing. It almost looks like there ain’t anything there to keep me from falling to my death. So I’m gonna just hang out here on this blue straw roof.

Me: You’ve got to be kidding me. How am I going to get him outside now?

Foresight is 20/20. I’d unlocked the sliding glass door in my bedroom that opens out onto the patio, which meant one less thing to struggle against; however there was still the challengeof maneuvering through my narrow apartment with a broom handle held horizontally and then opening the slider without my hands.

I managed it. I created new swears under my breath, but I managed it. I released Jeremy into the wild that is my patio.

Jeremy: This… isn’t your bathroom. Is it? Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice, but I’d rather go back inside.

Me: No f#$%ing way.

Jeremy: Cool, cool, I get it. It’s your apartment. I’m just gonna scurry under the deckbox over there. See you tomorrow!

Me: I better not.

Fortunately for me, I haven’t spotted Jeremy anywhere. Not in my apartment and not on my patio. Maybe he’s found another bathroom to call home. Or maybe a pantry somewhere. There are lots of apartments in my complex after all. I really don’t care, so long as he stays the f#$% out of my apartment.

 

Posted in Doggies, Making It Up As I Go

The One with the Red Fox

Grace does dumb things (like eating rocks), but she’s done pretty well landing on her own four paws (with lots of help from some amazing vets & vet techs). She also doesn’t think twice about going nose to nose with her 90lb brother. She’s a scrappy little mutt.

And it didn’t surprise me one bit when she charged to the end of the leash one day when I was back in Massachusetts. The fur on her back puffed up to the size of a softball, and she threw all 38lbs of herself against the leash.

My gaze traveled across the patchy green and brown expanse of the front lawn, expecting to land on a furry gray ball of rabbit. But it didn’t. Instead, I saw a fox. A beautiful fox with orange fur and dainty black legs.

My first thought was: Is that really a fox? It looks big enough to be a coyote. Then: Oh shit, is that thing going to come after Grace? Does it have rabies?

Grace didn’t share my momentary panic. She launched herself against the end of the leash again and barked her head off.

Grace: That’s my yard, you weird dog! Get out of my yard!

Fox: F#$% this!

The fox bolted around the side of the house and into the swamp beyond. Grace–naturally–tried to follow.

Grace: That’s it, you better run! Punk! And don’t you ever think about comin’ in my yard again!

It took a lot of encouragement and reminding Grace that she hadn’t had breakfast yet, to get her back inside. But even once we got into the kitchen, she still ran for the sliding doors and the porch beyond (with its view of the backyard). That was where I left her when I took Sampson outside for his morning walk.

I figured that was the end of it. The fox had disappeared into the woods, Grace was stationed in the kitchen, and Sampson was (thankfully) oblivious. I’d even gotten a pretty decent photo of the fox with my camera, which was a bonus.

Then came barking from the front window, and I damn near jumped out of my shoes. Grace had positioned herself in the bay window at the front of the house, barking up a storm.

Grace: Hey, you! I told you to get out of my yard!

Fox: F#$%!

For some reason that must’ve made sense in its brain, the fox had doubled back and stood in the side-yard. It froze when it heard Grace barking and then spotted Sampson with me in the driveway. The fox turned into an orange blur as it bolted back to the swamp behind the house.

Sampson: What was that?

Me: Nothing, dude. Let’s just get your walk done, so I can feed you and Grace.

Sampson: O-k. I wanna eat.

Grace was obviously very pleased with herself when we got back inside and tried to convince me that she deserved some of Sampson’s breakfast because she defended the house. I told her no.

Posted in Making It Up As I Go

The National Monument to the Forefathers

Adventure should be my middle name. There’s nothing that makes me happier than hitting the open road for someplace entirely new or a corner of town that I’ve never seen.

Grace and I did a bit of exploration in Plymouth, Massachusetts this spring. I’d never been to the National Monument to the Forefathers which is tucked away, down a side street not far from Plymouth Harbor and the Mayflower II. So we took a trip.

It’s a peaceful little spot with a beautiful view of the Harbor if you look east (behind the camera in the picture). Grace had a blast sniffing every blade of grass while I tried to coax her into taking cute pictures.

 

Posted in Doggies, Making It Up As I Go, Personal

The One with the F#%@ing Mouse (Part 2)

When I left off, Orville the f#%@ing mouse decided it was a good idea to make a break for the upstairs instead of outside the night before Mom and Dad left for their cruise.

Mom and Dad had just gone to bed, and I was upstairs with Sampson and Grace when Grace suddenly zoomed over to the top of the stairs.

Grace: Orville? Buddy? I wanna hunt you!

Me: Gracie… what the f#%@ are you hunting?

Grace: Orville! Orville’s here, S.E.!

Me: F#%@.

Orville: F#%@!

While Orville scurried into and through the kitchen, I shooed Grace to her bed and convinced myself that Grace had been seeing things. Or was hunting a bug that she’d named Orville. The last thing I wanted to believe was that the damn mouse was upstairs.

Then about ten minutes later, Orville decided be stupid for the second time that night.

Orville: I gotta find a way out. Maybe if I sneak by that dog, then I’ll be able to get back downstairs and go out the way I came in. I gotta just make a run for it.

From the corner of my eye, I spotted a gray fuzz dart along the wall before disappearing behind the TV stand. I knew exactly who the furry little bastard was without even a good look. So I did exactly what any grown, badass woman would do: I called Dad’s cell phone and begged him to come upstairs and catch the mouse.

Orville took off underneath the loveseat and then the couch as soon as he saw Mom and Dad coming up the stairs. He managed to disappear for a few minutes before hiding beneath the corner of Sampson’s bed. I grabbed both dogs, and Dad cornered him. He tossed a towel over the gray fuzzball.

Orville: F#%@ing, f#%@!

Me: You got it!

Grace: Let him go! I wanna hunt Orville!

Sampson: Wh-huh? What’s agoing on?

Orville: Okay, hold yourself together. Wait for him to make a mistake. Then make a break for it.

And Dad did make a mistake. He scooped up the towel to get it underneath Orville, and the f#%@ing mouse bolted.

Orville: FREEDOM!!!

Grace: Run, Orville! Run!

Sampson: What’s agoing on?

Me: Annnd shiiiittttt.

I sent Grace after Orville before poking into every corner I could find with the flashlight beam. But no one could find him. There were just too many places for him to hide, whether behind a dresser or underneath a bed or crouched behind cardboard boxes.

That night, I slept on the living room couch because there was a very good chance Orville was in my bedroom. And there was no way in hell I was sleeping in the same room as him.

As for Orville, he was never seen again. I’ve persuaded myself that he escaped through an open door the next day. Maybe it was true. Maybe it wasn’t. Either way, it was the only way that I could go to sleep at night.

Posted in Doggies, Making It Up As I Go, Personal

The One with the F#%@ing Mouse (Part 1)

I recently got home from Massachusetts after spending a month in my hometown. Since I was between jobs when my parents were going on a three-week cruise, I found myself house-sitting and dog-sitting. It’s nothing to complain about: spending a month writing and playing with dogs and hanging with friends.

There was just one hiccup. A f#%@ing mouse named Orville.

Let me backup a bit.

My parents’ house sits between suburbia and wooded wetlands, settled deep enough among trees that you can pretend to be off in the wilderness when the trees are full of leaves in summer. Privacy is great. But the wildlife that lives in the wetlands don’t think twice about encroaching into our space, though Sampson and Grace do a pretty good job of keeping them away.

Well, except for Orville. He arrived a couple days before I returned to Massachusetts.

Orville scurried into the garage for some mousey reason or another, probably following his nose to the crumbs of dog food. He met up with his buddy, Mercury, before descending the stairs to the first floor.

Mercury: Dude, there are f#%@ing dogs in here.

Orville: Shit, you’re right! Big ones.

Mercury: Hurry up and get the food.

Orville: Okay, I’m hurryin’.

Mercury: F#%@! Dog!

Grace: What’re youuu?

Grace happened to be downstairs at the time with Mom when she saw Mercury and Orville. Her muscles went all stiff in stillness yet flexed in a fluid motion when she moved. Her eyes sighted-in on Orville and Mercury with laser focus.

Mercury & Orville: F#%@!

Grace: I’m gonna hunt you.

At that point, Mom shouted for Dad, and he managed to toss a towel of Mercury and catch him. Mercury cursed the whole time as Dad carried him out to the backyard. Orville took the opportunity to bury himself into a shadowy corner, and there he stayed while Dad put out mouse traps.

Days went by. Dad checked the traps. Orville bypassed the tempting smell of bait in favor of the crumbs that collect in the corners of rugs no matter how many times they’re vacuumed.

Then the night before Mom and Dad had to be up and ready for their ride to the airport at 5 AM, Orville decided to make a break for it. But he didn’t do the logical thing, oh no. He didn’t run for the back door when Mom or Dad left it open for a few minutes. He ran the f#%@ upstairs.

To be continued…

Posted in Making It Up As I Go, Personal

Lizard in the Garden

I found this little guy in my garden yesterday morning. It took a little bit of research, but I believe he’s a Carolina anole. This kind of lizard is sometimes also referred to as the American Chameleon because they can change color from brown to green.

In other news, I’m back in North Carolina. I already miss Sampson and Grace, and I’m regularly talking myself out of heading to the shelter to adopt a senior dog. I’m also working on getting myself into a schedule of looking for a day job and writing, with an emphasis on the job search. Another thing that I need to fit into my schedule is joining a gym and working-out. I have a 5k in mind for this fall and wouldn’t mind fitting in another one later this summer.

The writing has been a little tough. I’m trying to get back into the groove that I found during the last half of my Massachusetts trip. I’ll make it happen, once I get back into a routine.

As I’m writing this, it’s about 10:30PM. So I should probably cut this off right here because I need to get back into going to be before midnight. Otherwise jumping back into a job with daytime work hours is going to be rough.

Posted in Making It Up As I Go

B.S. Horoscopes for May

I have so much fun reading horoscopes. I know that they’re B.S., but that doesn’t make them any less interesting. So in the spirit of that B.S. and a desire to read some pretty badass horoscopes, I decided to make up some of my own.

Let me know what you think of yours in the comments.


Aries: Avoid your reflection for the rest of the day, unless you want to witness its murder at the hands of a Yeti.

Taurus: You would’ve found the Graystone Treasure today while walking along the old railroad tracks if Old Bill hadn’t dug it up last week.

Gemini: Today is a good day to stay in bed until noon and then make a blanket fort with the guy secretly living in your attic.

Cancer: Keep your mouth shut today to avoid pissing off the demon next door, or tomorrow you’ll wake up in the middle of a haunted corn maze.

Leo: Try something new when you’re out and about today, like summoning an army of possessed sloths while at the Dollar Store.

Virgo: Today, you’ll accidentally foil your nemesis’s plan to ruin your weekend, so go ahead and make plans without fear of being sidetracked.

Leo: It’s all fun and games today until you realize that you’ve finally achieved your lifelong goal of world domination.

Scorpio: Wearing white with black polka dots today will make all that bird shit falling for the sky less noticeable when you get hit.

Capricorn: The ghost living in your bathroom swapped your shaving cream for whipped cream this morning, just FYI.

Aquarius: Today you will bathe in the tears of your enemies, and then go out for Starbucks.

Pisces: Invest in a good shovel while out shopping this morning because you’ll need it to bury a body tomorrow.

Posted in Making It Up As I Go

Content for Now

Today has been a good day. I cuddled with a very patient German Shepherd and herded a (mostly) tolerant mutt into my lap for a few minutes. I ordered a couple of books (which will be waiting for me in NC) and finished Brimestone by Cherie Priest (which was different but good). I’ve even scheduled my regular Monday blog posts for most of May.

Notice that there hasn’t been any writing done today. Not yet, at least. I have three “active” projects that I’m working on. Notice that I said “active” because my zombie novella needs to be revised, but there isn’t enough space in my head for it on top of the other three. Especially since the muse has been waving new ideas around like sparklers for the past week. They’re pretty shiny compared to what I’m working on.

As for what I’m working on, today and for now, I have a choose-your-own-adventure interactive story set in a world of zombies, a thriller that was supposed to be a short story but decided it wanted to be a novel (damn it), and a paranormal romance novella featuring an invisible woman. See what I mean when about not having enough room in my head for everything?

So on that note, I’m going to sign off here, check on the dogs in the kennel, and then get to work.

Over & out.